Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
