we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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