They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
