Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
