He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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