you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
