The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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