wakey wakey hands off snakey
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
