when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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