He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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