I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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