I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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