5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
