walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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