I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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