Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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