It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize