can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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