i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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