apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
