How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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