Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
