Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
PANTIES FOUND
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
