i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is wine microwaveable?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
