So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Say something about gay babies.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
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I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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