I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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