I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
