I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
