you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish i was in the wii world.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
