So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In other news, I just burned my penis
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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