I want to walk on stilts...naked
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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