at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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