why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
