Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
