Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
