Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
