A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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