so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize