He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think my moral compass just broke
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
