It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
