I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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