I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
