..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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