i may or may not be watching the land before time
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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