Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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