Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
