Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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