i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
