idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
