Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
