In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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