Sry I called you an 8
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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