oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
