Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
