The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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