is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
