he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
