Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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