God, you're like boner-b-gone
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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