would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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