Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
