fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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