After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we're so committed to being not committed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
