Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
