Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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