the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
