I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
