Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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