it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
