their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
