So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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