What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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