wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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