Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
