She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
