It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
